Contrasting Cultures
March 11th 2008 09:16
Being a Caucasian young girl, coming both from Polish and Australian origin, I have always been exposed to Western culture and ideology. You know, the usuals - being Christian, putting my individuality ahead of 'the family', celebrating Christmas and Easter and all those other holidays typically affiliated with 'white people'.
However, living in Australia has really opened my eyes. ( I have a long and complicated history when it comes to Australia, which I may go into one day but not right now.)
Anyway, two of my closest friends are Asian, a Vietnamese girl and a Chinese girl, both my age, and both having grown up in Australia in similar circumstances to mine. However, talking to them about everyday issues such as family, money, relationships and even upbringing, I've realised that they share a vastly different point of view to me about most of those topics.
To them, family and family responsibility are equal to law. Firstly, they are both expected to finish a degree which will not only ensure them monetary success in life, but will also enable them to provide for the families in the future. Their happiness is not even considered. Both being forced into doing Law/ Commerce, with their true passions of pharmacy and graphic design completely disregarded, they are slowly and almost painfully getting through their degrees, accepting their fate but wishing wholeheartedly they were allowed to do what they truly want.
I asked them, "WHY can't you? Why can't you just stand up for yourselves, force your parents to understand that what they're doing is wrong??"
The Vietnamese girl replies, "My parents love me, I know that, and they only want what's best for me. They've paid for my education so far, they've given me plenty of material things, and now it's my turn to return the favour." Having an older sister who was also forced into doing law, and who is now a successful tax attorney content, but quite 'bored' by her job, my friend's outlook on the whole situation has me baffled. If it was me, I'd have yelled, screamed, cried and even moved out to do what I want. I would have given time up with my family, I would not have forigven them. To her, this is normal. When she told me how they took her sister's hard earned money and invested in land overseas, I was furious. When they forced her nearly 30 year old sister to live with them until marriage, or disown her, I cracked it. We are living in the 21st century, not the middle ages!!! How can they hold such power over their two adult daughters?
My other friend, the Chinese one, is also controlled but in a different way. Although she is allowed to date, stay out late and sleep at her friend's houses, she must bear 2/3 of the responsibility for her parent's two businesses because they believe she 'needs to contribute to the household'. Attending university full time, studying law/ commerce, being given the responsibility of a business AND raising her younger sister, this girl's mother STILL doesn't believe she does her share around the house, and enough for the family.
My parents, being of European descent are also fairly strict, but nothing to that extent. Am I perhaps wrong, or do a lot Asian families behave in simialr degrees to that, especially if they have daughters? Or is it just my friends?
However, living in Australia has really opened my eyes. ( I have a long and complicated history when it comes to Australia, which I may go into one day but not right now.)
Anyway, two of my closest friends are Asian, a Vietnamese girl and a Chinese girl, both my age, and both having grown up in Australia in similar circumstances to mine. However, talking to them about everyday issues such as family, money, relationships and even upbringing, I've realised that they share a vastly different point of view to me about most of those topics.
To them, family and family responsibility are equal to law. Firstly, they are both expected to finish a degree which will not only ensure them monetary success in life, but will also enable them to provide for the families in the future. Their happiness is not even considered. Both being forced into doing Law/ Commerce, with their true passions of pharmacy and graphic design completely disregarded, they are slowly and almost painfully getting through their degrees, accepting their fate but wishing wholeheartedly they were allowed to do what they truly want.
I asked them, "WHY can't you? Why can't you just stand up for yourselves, force your parents to understand that what they're doing is wrong??"
The Vietnamese girl replies, "My parents love me, I know that, and they only want what's best for me. They've paid for my education so far, they've given me plenty of material things, and now it's my turn to return the favour." Having an older sister who was also forced into doing law, and who is now a successful tax attorney content, but quite 'bored' by her job, my friend's outlook on the whole situation has me baffled. If it was me, I'd have yelled, screamed, cried and even moved out to do what I want. I would have given time up with my family, I would not have forigven them. To her, this is normal. When she told me how they took her sister's hard earned money and invested in land overseas, I was furious. When they forced her nearly 30 year old sister to live with them until marriage, or disown her, I cracked it. We are living in the 21st century, not the middle ages!!! How can they hold such power over their two adult daughters?
My other friend, the Chinese one, is also controlled but in a different way. Although she is allowed to date, stay out late and sleep at her friend's houses, she must bear 2/3 of the responsibility for her parent's two businesses because they believe she 'needs to contribute to the household'. Attending university full time, studying law/ commerce, being given the responsibility of a business AND raising her younger sister, this girl's mother STILL doesn't believe she does her share around the house, and enough for the family.
My parents, being of European descent are also fairly strict, but nothing to that extent. Am I perhaps wrong, or do a lot Asian families behave in simialr degrees to that, especially if they have daughters? Or is it just my friends?
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